You spoony bard!

February 17th, 2012 | by: gadsby | Comments Off

Gadsby, yesterday.

Recently, endless column inches have been dedicated to learned debate over preparations for a quest to that other side over yonder, resplendent with such beautiful, green grass; namely! — the European Championships; known commonly as the Euros, and, on this fair blog, our glorious and most commonly adopted Italian national team. Much has been written, mostly by Sam and I, on Gli Azzurri’s chances on this splendid voyage to Parts Ukraine, all in our profoundly unmistakable brand of the King’s English. While several individual and counter-collective pieces have been smoothly ejaculated from the blunderbuss of our minds, there is yet to be a definitive and fully comprehensive review of what I, Gadsby, being of sound body and mind, consider La Nazionale’s best 23 for that storied contest. Yes, you read exactly what you thought you read. If what I thought you thought you read is the same as what you thought you read, and what you thought I thought that you thought that you read, then that would very much be the case, or would it?

There are some that will say that the task of picking 23 players to represent the nation is purely a job for the Commisario Tecnico, in this case Cesare Prandelli, to do. These people, whatever they may claim to the contrary, are ignorant fools. The responsibility of carefully choosing 23 players to carry the hopes and dreams of an entire nation is best left to angry young men on calcio forums, and, in my case, two out of three ain’t bad. Regardless, that’s enough idle talk from me, I think it is high time we proceed onto the main issue of the day; that is, to select a fantasy squad of 23 players to compete at the Euros for Italy, with the only caveat being all consideration given to injury. Nothing else matters.

In goal, I feel it would be more prudent than prudent can be to play Juventus’ Gianluigi Buffon. As for the required two reserve goalies, I have heard tell that Salvatore Sirigu, marooned in Fr*nce, has been simply sublime, while, for the third choice, I can never discount Federico Marchetti, purely because he has such magnificent hair, and his strong form for Lazio this season. Crucify me.

In defence, I would pair Juventus defenders Giorgio Chiellini and Leonardo Bonucci, with depth to call on in the form of Andrea Barzagli and Andrea Rannochia. Slotting in on the wings we would see the useless Ignazio Abate and Domenico Criscito, with a controversial exclusion handed out to Mattia Cassani purely for his comment on Amauri being one of the best players he has played with. You’re a traitor to Italia, Mattia. I would call up Christian Maggio, however. A shining beacon of morality.

It is often stated that the midfield is where a game is won and lost, and for the Azzurri, this may or may not be true. I could have opened that better, I know. A triad of Antonio Nocerino, Thiago Motta, and Andrea Pirlo would support Stefan El-Shaarawi in the trequartista role. Depth, that sweet and yet so fickle mistress, would come in the form of Claudio Overratechisio, Daniele De Rossi, Simone Pepe, and Andrea “Gadsby is a biased Intermerda scum” Poli. Sebastian Giovinco would also be on hand for when the trequartistry became too difficult for Il Faraone.

Up front, in the realm of power, corruption, and lies, I would highly advocate the inclusion of Giampaolo Pazzini and Giuseppe Rossi, with Alessandro Matri and Mario Balotelli functioning as reserves. Get your official Italy WCB tar and feathers here!

Who would you like to see representing Gli Azzurri in Poland/Ukraine? Feel free to give your thoughts below the line.